Wait.

It’s Monday.

Oh well.

It’s Wednesday somewhere. Or it will be. Next week.

SHOES.

To be specific… FABULOUS SHOES.

I saw a woman in Austin recently… who happened to be wearing a most fabulous pair of shoes. Kinda like these…

This woman told me her shoe philosophy,

Start with the shoes and work your way up.

I love her.

Isn’t it amazing what fabulous shoes do to a girl? I wanted to be that woman’s best friend. I wanted to sit by that woman and make her laugh… I wanted her to like me. I wanted to chop off her legs and steal her shoes. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer…

Wait.

In defense of myself, in case you are judging me for my shoe-lust or blatant materialism… I am no Imelda Marcos, but mostly due to financial reasons… not because I am above or necessarily opposed to such things.

My signature shoe:

I’m a real “shoe horse”  *snicker

Just kidding…my normal daily shoe is this…

Remember, I live in South Texas. We wear flip flops all year round!!

Except when I go grocery shopping. Then I wear these…

                                                                                                                                               *kidding*

And don’t forget about boots…

Shoes…

• I have a shoe board that needs some development on pintrest…
• I am cukoo for these Christian Louboutins…
• I own THESE, but I also walk like I’ve been hit by a truck after wearing them for about 17 minutes. *Sidebar… are sexy shoes sexy if while wearing they make one look like one is walking with one foot on the curb and the other off?
• And just now, I spent 20 minutes on endless… looking at THEIR shoes. Like crack. For the eyes. And also the wallet.

I think crack addicts and shoe addicts have a lot in common… the whole “addiction” thing, and also both addictions can be pretty spendy.

You know what? If I hit rock bottom, I think it’d be better to get there because of shoes than because of crack… Besides, a shoe addict looks WAY cuter than a crack addict.

You’re nodding…

BECAUSE IT’S TRUE.

So tell me, if you hit rock bottom due to fashion, what would it be for you? Shoes? Scarves? Necklaces? Flower pins? ETSY???

I was driving home from a grocery store run. I was stopped at a light. Two cars on a side street were waiting to merge into my lane. Wanting to be a nice gal, I waved at the driver of the first car, giving him the go-ahead to pull in front of me.

As he’s doing this, I’m thinking, “Okay, I did my social duty. I let one car in. Now it’s my turn. The next guy has to let the next person in. After all, fair is fair. The protocol for kindness in this circumstance, the agreed upon social convention is you let one car in and then you get to go. No harm, no foul.”

So, why was I feeling uncomfortable? Because I know that the path to my joy, my inner peace, and my prosperity is a path of generosity and compassion without judgment, evaluation, or conditions of any kind. I know that I have a choice now to be even kinder than I had just been, and that it’s really not in my best interests to resist that choice.

“Wouldn’t it be nice,” I told myself, “to just let the second car in also, right now, no fuss, no bother, will cost me a whole extra 5 seconds of my life, it would make things easier for the stranger in the other car, why not do it, what’s the big deal?”

I decided to let this second car into the lane in front of me. She smiled and thanked me, which felt really good, but that was the icing on the cake. I was feeling pretty good the moment I made the decision to put my ego away and just be kinder and more generous.

Certainly, there is no right or wrong in terms of how many cars we let into our lane. It’s not right or wrong to let no cars in. Legally, we have the right of way. The issue is, how do our decisions, our choices, make us feel about ourselves?

My decision to let the second car in made me feel great. I felt it represented progress in my releasing my ego’s resistance to being more caring, more sharing, more loving, more accepting and more forgiving. I felt it also represented progress in my role modeling behaviors reflecting greater courtesy and cooperation, which, if adopted by others, will strengthen the fabric of society.

Strengthening the fabric of society is nice but the main point is that by choosing to be kinder, more generous, more gracious and more respectful of others, above and beyond the standards we have set for ourselves, we will discover our world changing before our eyes, becoming more joyous and fragrant.

**Love**Be Loved**Inspire**Be Inspired**Give**Be You**Dance**Love some more**

You ever had one of them days where you are in a bad mood at the end of the day even though you can’t point to anything in particular that went wrong?

Where the best you can come up with is “the sun didn’t come out soon enough today”?

Where people being who they are – who they always have been – irritates the hell out of you? Where they do the same inconsiderate ass $hit as they did last week but last week it wasn’t inconsiderate – it was just them – but this week it has gotten under your skin?

And today you just want to kick and scream and throw the hugest pity party for one ever planned and executed, complete with a pinata and Eyeore-themed party favors?

No? Well, f@ck you

We convince ourselves that life
will be better after we get married,
have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough
and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that we’re frustrated that we
have teenagers to deal with,
we will certainly be happy
when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete
when our spouse gets his or her act together,
when we get a nicer car,
are able to go on a nice vacation,
when we retire.
The truth is there’s no better time
to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It’s best to admit this to yourself
and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favorite quotes comes
from Alfred D Souza.

He said, “For a long time it had seemed
to me that life was about to begin -real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way,
something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid. Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me that these
obstacles were my life.”

This perspective has helped me to see
that there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way,
so, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it
with someone special,
special enough to spend your time…
and remember that time waits for no one.

So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer,
until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you’ve had a drink,
until you’ve sobered up,
until you die, until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time
than right now to be happy…
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So, Work like you don’t need money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt and
Dance Like no one’s watching

.

After all, even in our online world, some things (to some of us) are private. Very private. Like relationships. Like not blurting to the world about another person’s life – or your own – without thinking first. And then – realizing you are speaking on a permanent. global. forum. Don’t air your dirty laundry online! Or your brand spanking new clean laundry for that matter!

Why?

Internet common sense

Am I trying to take the “social” out of “social media?” Of course not. But consider this:

• When you’ve met someone new, and you’re excited, voice it!  But not with so many specifics that if it doesn’t pan out (become the relationship you desire), you’re embarrassed. And so is the other party.
• Don’t use your Facebook relationship status as a flag of sexual availability, flicking it on and off like the turn signal in your car. Single, in a relationship, single, in a relationship. It’s cruel, it’s silly, and it reflects poorly on you.
• Be an adult. Change your relationship status (if you feel you must) when you are certain of it, and when you have spoken to the other person first.
• Yes – I used the “A” word. Adult. If you have a beef with someone, must you really put the specifics online for all to see? Your tiffs, your making up, your bitterness, you interpertation.
• When there’s a break up, a family fight or a personal situation, must there be name-calling on Facebook, in a blog, in a series of tweets, in Friending and de-Friending and unending back-and-forth that is (or should be) embarrassing for both of you? And your real friends and family?

Discretion is the better part of valor

Am I proposing that you not freely discuss relationships in your own writing, in a way that helps you sort them out, sharing happiness, allowing others to learn from your experience, or simply enjoy vicariously? Not at all.

I am saying you should consider retaining enough details to protect your privacy. Intimate details that can be read by family members – yours and the other party’s – including children,  “friends of friends” in our social media circus-universe, not to mention your co-workers, your next employer, and potentially, your next date or lover. What do you think their attitude would be if they see their predecessor skewered online?

Recall the expression “discretion is the better part of valor?” Speak as you wish, but what’s put on the Internet cannot be taken back. Ever. Perhaps use humor, metaphors, or appropriate details with your audience in mind – in other words, a bit of discretion. You are publicly broadcasting your life – and another’s as you see it. It may come back to bite you, so do so in a way that serves to explore, to praise, to inform, to motivate, to educate, to question – and yes – to entertain readers or followers and gather input if you need it. But mudslinging on the Internet? Hell – our reality TV stars have done it in spades! I think it’s embarrassing, and beneath them. I think it’s High School. And certainly not the better part of valor. Then again, one must know the meaning of valor to exercise it.

The emperor has no clothes

Sadly, just as people talk over cocktails, or in the locker room, people “talk” over the Internet. Barbs are hurled back and forth through blogs and tweets and Facebook walls. When feelings are involved – hurt feelings – when Jane says John did X, then John says Jane did Y, the whole thing can escalate into a nasty battle that doesn’t belong on the public airwaves. I don’t like it when it’s Jon and Kate Gosselin. I don’t like it from Reality TV stars in their blogs. I don’t respect it, especially if I’ve come to care about Jane, John or any person.

One of the pleasures of this global communication arena is the opportunity to befriend interesting people anywhere. But use discretion. Remember that the world is looking over your shoulder. And if you aren’t judicious in what you say, you may regret it. Not because you did anything “wrong” – but you may inadvertently hurt someone, or be hurt yourself. Just think about it. We feel something, process it, deal with it and move on. The internet does not. It stays there. People remember it and you may have come to regret saying it but it can no longer be taken back.

Missoni at Target. I’m talkin’ about Missoni and Target dresses, even a Target patio set… but Missoni. Missoni shoes… kid shoes, ladies shoes, accessories, bags and purses. Missoni, Missoni, Missoni.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

And I was all, “Miss-who?”

I guess it was kinda a big deal.

Missoni launch crashes Target Web site, spreads mayhem

(source here)

I heard rumblings about this on the interwebz. Peeps on Twitter were all, “OMG. TARGET IS DOWN! THEIR WEBSITE IS DOWN!!! IT’S BECAUSE OF MISSONI! MISSSSSONNNIIIIIII!!!!”

People were running around in the streets, tipping over cars… surely the end of the world was…

But seriously. My mind was all… “Missoni? MISSONI? Ur spelin it wrongz, y’allz! It’s M-E-R-O-N-A.”

Oh and, uh… Merona? It’s respectable line-o-bland-wear. We all own or have owned Merona.

ADMIT IT.

So, I initially thought Merona crashed Target’s site. Or was it Mossimo? Oh my.

Maybe khakis were making a big comeback? It could happen!

I decided to click around and get to the bottom of Merona’s sudden fame.

As I clicked around the interwebz the light bulb turned on. I realized there wasn’t a mis-print. It was Misssssoniiii not Merrrronaaaa. “Uh…. HAVE I HAD MY HEAD IN HOLE? WHAT IS THIS ZIG-ZAGGEDY BUHRRRRILLLLLANCE???!!!”

I mean… I am even on PINTEREST, people.

I have good taste!

I have even pinned VALENTINO, people!

Unrelated… My birthday is October 30th. *ahem*

If you know my, you know I have great taste!!!

I do love my fashion. I love Target. I’m not ALWAYS in “the know” on these things but I do think I am at least at a level where I would know when something is hot at Target. AT LEAST! FOR CRYIN’ IN THE NIGHT!

I mean really, friends…. IT’S TARGET.  Who doesn’t love Target??

I heard about the long lines – like OUTSIDE OF THE STORE lines – of people trying to get their hands on this stuff.

I’m just not too sure about this stuff?!?!?

Maybe I’ll pin a recipe. A literal ode to good taste, no?

I didn’t go to Target that day.

Things I Don’t Do:

• Early-morning-day-after-Thanksgiving shopping
• Big county fairs
• Food festivals
• I shouldn’t do the self check-out at thingy…
• Heavy metal concerts
• Rush on Target for Missoni

Then again, I see a pair of $39.99 Missoni shoes are listed for $129.99 on eBay.

SRSLY? Srsly.

I mean. ZIG ZAGS?! FUN COLORS?! Who can resist?

So. Did you go? Were you in “the know”? Do you have something Merona in YOUR closet?

*Just so you know… I am not being paid to blather about this little union. It just caught my eye. Brightly colored zig zagged textiles will do that to a girl like me.

********

Because this is THAT funny and I can’t wait to share it. I love that You tube. Also, this comes with a warning:

Go. Pee. Now. Swallow all your coffee. In the words of Yoda, “Do as I say, you will…

There are supposed to be 24 hours in each day, 60 minutes in each hour, and 60 seconds in each minute, yet on that  Tuesday 9/11/2001, time was redefined.

Minutes were counted in tears that had been shed and hours were measured in lives that were lost and days struggled to even be recognized amidst the blur of pain and suffering.
Time is said to be relative, and that is the only thing that remains true. For it is all about relatives, and family, and friends, known, and unknown.

Each tick of my watch signaled moments that had forever been lost, dreams that had died, passions yet to be realized, kisses yet to be given, hugs that would never be shared, and breaths that would never be taken.

Each tick of my watch signaled the unleashing of immense canyons of pain and suffering, of floods of tears being shed, of hearts of all ages and all sizes being broken, and of the mammoth emptiness which enveloped us all.

And each tick of my watch also signaled that if I am aware that time is still ticking… I am still here. To experience the pain and share what I can of myself with others.

To pray for my unknown friends who have lost their lives and for the ones still living, who have lost their spirit.

To cry once more, and yet again, and then to move amidst the ashes and make friends with the fear and the pain that will always be there from now on.

To look at children who still claim their innocence, and for a moment, revel in their simplicity.

To listen to the different songs the birds sing, until I find one that is right for me.

To breathe deeper, and inhale the strength of life, with each breath.

To live better, and kinder, and more compassionately.

To kiss harder, hug stronger, and love deeper.

And to remember that it is still okay to laugh, and to cry, and to let go, and to heal.

To all the heroes of  9/11. You courage is what makes tomorrow possible. Your bravery has allowed me to raise my children protected yet unafraid. To our troops, who give up Christmas morning with their family so I can have Christmas morning with mine, I am humbled with gratitude and faithful in my respect, appreciation and honor to YOU. We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.  We are in fact, ONE NATION UNDER GOD!!!

It’s becoming pretty obvious that I’m not going to be invited to this Kardashian wedding (mostly because it’s over).  It’s quite a slight, especially since I religiously watched “The Kardashians”  every. single. whiny. self appreciating, episode. (is self appreciating a thing? It should be)

Her loss really because she missed out on this exchange…

KK : Should I wear this crazy expensive jewel encrusted sweat band inspired thing around my head?

ME: No.

KK : But it’s in homage to screen legend Audrey Hepburn!

ME: Don’t pretend like you know what the word “homage” means.

KK: Which dress should I wear first?

ME: Wait, what? you have more than one dress?

KK: Duhhhh

ME: The mermaid one’s Got. To Go.

KK: but Vera..

ME: Nope…zip it…it accentuates your already huge ass.

KK: Don’t make me cry, they spent two hours on my make up.

ME: ahhhh…poor thing. Once, at my wedding, I did my own make up…gasp

KK: Whuuuu??

ME:  Nevermind. Relax. Enjoy your day. Because most of your days are so committed to helping others and contributing your many talents to society.

KK: Whatever. I like so love Regg…I mean Kris. Our wedding is costing $57,000 for each day we’ve known each other

ME: NEVER say that out loud again. Really.

KK: Should we video our honeymoon?

ME: Careful with that one sweetie!!

KK: Wedding vows do include “my lawfully wedded husband, until another hot guy looks good in a jersey, right?”

ME: Careful with that one sweetie!!

KK: Wheres my phone? I need to tweet..

I give it a year!!

Oh people.

Can I just be for reals for a minute? Or lots of minutes. Say, 800 words or so…

I am having a hard time with this whole “kids growing up” thing.

WHO KNEW? Isn’t this what we want?

Since my oldest was born… I have been waiting for the independence.

I have been waiting for the full-night’s sleep.

Waiting to give the diaper bags to Goodwill.

Waiting for the booster seat and the self-buckling.

Waiting for the time I could leave them home while I run to get bread or eggs or milk…

Waiting for the day they may be old enough to leave for an overnight…

The time has come.

All those parents back-then who said, “Your day will come. Hold onto these days with your little ones… Don’t wish them away…” They were spot-on.

For me, parenting the littles was very hard… From having difficult pregnancies, to having three in a ROW, to all the not sleeping.

And let’s not forget about the judgment of others.

That was a lot of fun.

I do love babies. I adore the pure delight found in toddlers and preschoolers….I loved each new stage and the wonder in which it brought. But I had difficult days/weeks/months…thus not forget I had a newborn, a 1 year old and a 2 year old…at the same time

But here I am. Alive. Standing on the other side of diapers and bottles and car seats and strollers.

Crying as I type.

I miss the special sweetness of that season. For so long it – that season – was my entire existence. And flash… IT is gone.

I don’t miss the strong, determined pull of a 4 year-old will, nor the thing that a mom’s heart does when her newborn is crying at the checkstand because he/she is hungry AGAIN and heavenhelpmeIjustneedtobuysomebananas.

I remember one day a man who had 5 kids that were in their older stages, saw me distraught in the grocery store. My 3 littles tearing at my patience, soul and physical balance. Over the chaos he handed me a bouquet of flowers and said, “My wife has been in your shoes and I know how much it means to her to have others tell her she is doing a good job and she will make it… You are doing a great job Mom, and you are going to make it.”

I wept then and I weep now. Poor mamas…

I remember the anxious times like they were yesterday, yet can barely remember the sweet times – except for pictures. The memories are foggy yet vivid…

Like it was yesterday, I remember watching my sister through a window… walking my newborn son around outside. She got him to stop crying. Finally… Why couldn’t I get him to stop crying?

15 years ago.

—–

Tonight I stand in the doorway of a new era. All three are in High School!!

I remember when Drew started school, Anna-Ashley and I had our mornings to ourselves. She would eat cereal and demand chocolate milk. We snuggled. We laughed. We loved. I dreaded the day she started school. Now she’s in HIGH SCHOOL!!

I’m KILLIN’ ME!

And then, then, THEN….

COLLEGE

PRAY FOR ME.

I have great fear. I am thinking having a 1,2 and 3 year old might have been easier.

I think kids have it harder than we did… so much access to so many things before the time is right. It sucks because I want to fight to protect them, but need to let them spread their wings and develop the skills to stand on their own. To stand in their own conviction… but there are so many threats to their wittle hearts!!

Oh my stinkin’ heck. Friends! It was easier to protect them when they’re 4!

Dong gone it.

“The books” can’t prepare us. What to expect? Expect it will be nothing like you’ve read. Yet it will. Kind-of.

The slow-reveal for me is… it gets different. Not easier. And probably harder…

——–

I don’t know.

I know nothing.

I just need to stop looking so far ahead. And I need to stop looking back… wishing I’d not wished those small years away quite so much.

But man. Were they hard. And wonderful.

And really, how do we really know how wonderful something wonderful is unless we have been to the depths of  NOT-wonderful?

I have been there and have done that. It would appear there is more been there and done that to do.

Am I crazy?

Don’t answer that.

LOVE****BE LOVED****INSPIRE****BE INSPIRED****LAUGH****DANCE****BE YOU